Man, this week was Rock’n’Roll.
It actually feels more like 2 weeks happened in the space of one.
In order to maintain the illusion of control on our Laifu, my Waifu and I like to do a Plan de la Semaine during which we define the key points of the upcoming week in order to get prepared and reduce anxiety & stress.
Boy, this week it didn’t work.
The big question I hadn’t answer in this Plan de la Semaine was ‘Do I participate in this coaching course from Tuesday to Thursday?’.
I got way better at taking decision over the years: I pass them through a little formula involving my long-term goal, my values and a pinch of ‘who cares anyway’ and I just take the damn decision.
But my formula didn’t seem to work for ‘Do I participate in this coaching course from Tuesday to Thursday?’.
I asked my mentor, I asked my wife, I asked my inner child… I even wrote an extra episode of Sans-Filter Sunday – that I might send to the PeaCrea Tribe as a bonus at some point (join the Tribe here for free and get bonus SFS, ad-free PeaCrea Pod and more cool stuff).
I got a lot of great insights out of all this asking but I still felt unsure.
On top of that, an IT emergency appearing in a beauty company I had accepted to help took a part of my decision-making power.
But it was okay, I solved this issue and all was good.
Especially because I had a lot of respect for the boss of this beauty company and certainly didn’t want to disappoint her. And you can be sure that all went well after that and it’s totes not going to come back in the story.
So, anyway, a looong Monday that I finish on a tone of pride and satisfaction: it was tough but I did everything I wanted to do and I finally took my decision, I’m not going.
I’m interested in this course only for the certification, I already know the kind of stuff they’re going to teach us. My time and money are better used in business development.
I’m not going and this is my final answer, Jean-Pierre.
Aaah, it feels good to be sure.
The next morning, as I walk into the course, I’m pleasantly surprise at how diverse the crowd of other students is: there are entrepreneurs, HR, students from different parts of Czechia & Slovakia.
Also there’s a lot of free food which is always a good sign.
I’m still in trial mode, though, I think: I’m here to see, if it sucks I can leave at the break and go back to business development.
But it doesn’t suck so I stay and progressively forget about all my doubts and start really enjoying the course.
Then comes the break at 11:30ish.
I check my messages and mon coeur chavire: exactly 3 minutes after I put my phone on airplane mode for the course, 4 people from the beauty company wrote & called me. They’ve been trying to reach me the whole morning.
Apparently while fixing a problem I had created another one.
I immediately get online to assess the situation and work on its resolution (missing a part of the course in the process).
‘Turns out only part of it was my fault but I understand how it could’ve looked liked it was all mine.
I fixed what I could remotely and tried my best to explain the situation so that the beauty company workers know that their emails are not lost and that I’m leaving the course early to fix everything late afternoon.
At this point, I’m pretty alarmed because one of my core wound was touched: the fear of disappointing people.
I know it’s a core wound because my physiological reaction are disproportionate: my head is spinning, my heart is racing and I feel like I’m not thinking rationally.
I think things like ‘this is a sign, I shouldn’t have taken the course, I gotta leave right now and fix this, I’ll never be a coach, my business is gonna fail ‘.
Full Woody Allen mode.
Then 2 things happened:
- an angel came on a bike to remind me of what’s important
- I got fired by the boss of the beauty company (the one I had a lot of respect for and certainly didn’t want to disappoint)
Now, it’s the afternoon and I’m trying to listen to the trainer in the coaching course but my ears are ringing and my attention keeps coming back to the beauty company.
I stayed in the course.
I asked the boss if she wanted me to come and fix this before she fires me, I took her lack of answer as a ‘no’.
At some point the trainer says that in a good coaching session, coach and coachee should be on a “I’m ok – You’re ok” state.
It brings me out of my trance and I go ‘excuse me, I feel super not ok right now but I still would like to learn from the course, what do I do?’.
She tells me about the concept of ‘odlozeni negativni emoce’ ( I remember it as odlozeni) which means, I guess, postpone your negative emotion.
If you need to perform, be ‘ok’ for a client or listen to a course and your negative emotions are taking all your attention, you can ask them to come back later.
It needs to be gentle and you need to keep your word and actually spend some time with them later, but then they go away and you can do what you need to do (or feel of you need to feel).
I’ve heard about this in other form before but in that moment it was the perfect solution and lesson at the same time.
gently postponed my negative emotions,
could focus on the course,
finally decided to attend it in full,
went back home,
spent some time with the negative emotions,
sent a message to the boss of the beauty company to clarify what was my fault and what wasn’t…but mainly to express myself,
watched a Bojack Horseman to cool down and
finally crumbled on my bed.
It was a Hell of a Week.
Oh wait, no.
That was just Tuesday.
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